I was flipping through a book when suddenly I felt that everything I do is useless. I don't see if I have a real objective to read economics, nor doing homeworks, nor doing anything, at all. That awkward moment when you feel " Am I studying? Why on earth do I need to study?" , it really sucks. If I ask my roommate, his answer will be, " Dude, it's A-Levels! Don't ever dream of studying overseas if you don't study".That will be your answer, too, and probably the teachers, to be straight. The truth is, I won't be satisfied with your answer. I want an exact reason on why do we need to study!
That question of the needs to study grows into branches and leaves and fruits, until this boggled mind nearly explode. Why do I have to run during house runs? I don't want to do so. Haha. What's the need to be intelligent, to enter a decent university, then to get a good job, then? You will say, we need to study, so we can enter a good university. That awesome university ensures you a great degree, and that degree promises a good job. A good job, perhaps, brings good fortune, wealth of an unthinkable amount. Then,where does this cycle goes? Does it cease, just like that? If I die, perhaps, later, what's my main purpose to exist? Why??
I would like to ask Luke Skywalker then , if I ,actually have an intergalactic mission to embark with, so that my existence on this small planet, will be significant, but he's just a fiction . I saw then, not everybody becomes like Obama, or a superhero, perhaps, and so it is with me. The reasons of my sole existence becomes unclear and patheticly unknown.
If , you die, what is the significance of your Cambridge degree and your high income? Heck, you just leave it like that, you're such a waste to the society and burden to the world as a whole. Perhaps, you can paste that degree on your memoratorium. I'm dead, but I went to Cambridge! Roar! Does that means anything? Nope. You're already dead.
So I continued thinking, opting not to do my works as it looked to be useless to do any. Perhaps ,I'm just a part of a biological cycle. I was born to be fertilizers. To live with pride, then die to help plants grow, later on I'll be fossil fuels, then I'll be used as petrol in cars, combusted as black fumes, then fuses with the air, creates acid rain, fall to earth, then...No!! Uhh.. what a sad, sad life to live. Then, what differs me from cats, dogs and ducks? Main reason to exist; Breed and Die. No way, because I'm a damned important guy, ya know, I can't just be fertilizers!
I checked on every kinds of books, ranging from economics to theoretical physics, to answer that question; the reason of my existence. History books; perhaps, I could be a main character in the fall of Soviet Union, in the past. The textbooks explains everything, to a very complicated degree, but none answer that typical question. Heck, I'm really an insignificant being in this vast universe. There's really no reason to do homework.
One day ,I found the ultimate answer for that ultimate question . It was simple. ~I'm a creation. Allah created me, a human being to submit to Him. I need to learn, so that I know what is wrong and what is right, as religion taught me so. I need to enter a decent university, so I can work, to be a decent man. A decent man cares for everyone, he does good to everyone. I need education so I'll be a man of great attitudes. I need to be rich -yeah- so that I can donate to the poor , and me, myself can be happy. And when I die, I will not be acid rain, but I'll enter another universe, the Judgement Day, when I will meet Allah, be judged for all of my deeds, rights and wrongs . Then we ,humans will be judged, either to be condemned to hell, or to the pleasures of heaven, forever.
Suddenly I know that I'm not just an insignicant being, but I do have an important mission on earth. I'll be returned to Allah, the Sole Creator,the Al-Khaliq. I do have an objective. A life with an objective is forever better than a fertilizer-based life. I found this answer in a book named , the Quran.
Now I do have a reason to do my homeworks. It still feel useless though,hah. Peace