These are just plain opinions; they can be rejected, refuted, argued against or accepted. These words are not meant to impose my ideals upon anybody , and they are not going against the law of the diversity of thoughts~~

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Get Married.

"Us? Getting married? You gotta be kidding me. Why so sudden, after all?"

"But, everyone here does that . And I do feel lonely, deprieved and I need you. The Islamic society here supports early marriages, as to prevent social problems among students, and they even funded it. I've been waiting for ages.."

"Yo sis, chill up. People don't get married just like that. There are tons of problems awaiting, conflicts and stigmas to go through.
And it always seems that the chances of we getting married, now, neared to nil. Getting married , here, is harder than doing any sin. True story.

We're studying after all , and, ugh, I can't get it.

I'm too busy after all, doing everything from course works, internship, tutor classes , clubs, things that reach infinity. I merely have time for myself, now. Why can't it be later? After graduation, perhaps?


What? Wait, don't cry, I really don't mean that. Yeah, I do want to marry you, I promised that since kindergarten, but , why now? I don't see the neccessity for the issue to be brought up at these times.

I'm studying economics, and so, here I present you a cost-benefit analysis of getting married. Firstly, the externalities that I found , are rather terrifying, and this is a total nightmare. Let me explain the negative ones first, so be patient and understanding. The main issue is about consent. Consent, to be married, is an horror today , it is an unavoidable bad luck. Your folks will bring up lame stories of failed marriages among teenagers, lack of responsibility among us, and our preparations. Prepare to understand that our parents still consider us as toddlers, if you want to know, because they love us too much. They will opt for us to continue studying, as marriage is considered a distraction, and our marriage can tarnish their names....later explaination below.

The second issue is about our age. Me myself sees marriage as a chance to increase productivity, through the increase of human capital, and of course, better specialisation in daily chores. You'll make my life better organized by three hundred percent. That's a fact. But others-all people, ceteris peribus- consider marriage at this age a disaster. It will halt the process of education, although that is mainly an assumption, statistics prove the opposite. Young married people, they will say , cannot participate in societies and leadership activites compared to singles. Heck, we'll do everything together, can't we? And marriage at this age is controversial- people are born with stigmas. Rumours will spread that we married because I made you pregnant, ugh, that's the nature of people, although the rationality is none. That's just a single example. And the issue of the age matters about maturity. Although we see ourselves as matured enough (are we? ) , others don't. We are raging children with overdosed adrenaline and spirits. They assume that if we do marry , it will end quickly, as this 'puppy love' is temporary and volatile. All these are people's assumptions that we can't afford to ignore ,as we're living in a community, we are not Tarzan and Jane in the jungle of Amazon.

The third issue is the monetary cost. Let me divide cost into two, premarriage cost and post-marriage cost. Premarriage costs include costs during engagement, planning and the wedding ceremony. All three events involves transportation cost of family members involved. Engagement requires an engagement ring, a ceremony, which involves cost for food at the day. Planning is a process before the wedding, while the wedding itself...this,dowry? .. that, oh these, and that..... amounting to a total cost of RM 30000, and that's just basics. I haven't considered if the marriage is made at a grand scale ,or do you prefer a a budget wedding, just the wedding 'uniform', and some food? Yeah.

The post-marriage costs involves all possible issues that rise while building a family. You don't even want to think about that, trust me. And as a student, I don't see any possible way to find that amount of money in such a single time, unless you consider robbing a bank, or an afternoon with the loansharks. Yes, it sucks to be a pessimist.

Yeah, there are extremely good benefits of this early marriage thing, but , if the side effects are far greater, how do we decide then? Let's be patient and considerate. Then, what about assimilation? We need to adapt ourselves, if we do marry, to the external surroundings, and to our own selves, and yet we are still students. What if the time isn't enough for us to keep this marriage even look as a marriage?

Other issues may rise, such as family planning-birth control, stress management and various other perspectives.

We can go as far as saying that if we marry, we can produce more, and contribute more to the society, and to Islam as a whole, but how much of that rhetoric is true? The main reason, you think, is to protect ourselves from hedonism, social problems, etcetra, etcetra. But heck, please, that is not the main objective of a marriage. It is such a sick marriage , if it is motivated by that sole purpose alone. Can't we get hold of ourselves? We're good muslims, aren't we?

A marriage should be based on family, happiness, and it must be planned thoroughly....wait, what's that bright light over there? Please, who's that? Stop pointing light at people, you.."



..................................... An eternity later................


"Assalamualaikum! We are from the Islamic Department of Seremban. What are you two doing here, alone, in the dark?!"

" Erk, uhm, em, this is my sister.,no, erm, we're getting married anyway. We did nothing, ,um, really.....".... T_T

"Please follow us , the two of you. Get into the car. Scumbag teenagers these days, ugh! These kids are the hundredth for the night!"


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